07.16.2010

Posted by in baseball, Star Trek | 1 Comment

Eight all-time great baseball teams of the future

With the second half of the Major League Baseball season starting, BuckBokai would like to take a few minutes to honor those great teams of the future, those nines whose excellence expands beyond the standard rules of the spacetime continuum far enough to earn them a reputation years before their time.

Those sports fans who can’t stand hearing anything about that game they’ve TiVoed but haven’t watched yet had better not click through for more – there are Biff Tannen-sized spoilers aplenty here.

The 2010 Florida Marlins. Indeed, this year’s Marlins will go down as one of the great teams ever after coming back with what appears to be an exceedingly young (only five on the 40-man roster are over 30 years old) and middle-of-the-road squad which was playing .477 ball and sitting 10 games back at the all-star break. (SeaQuest DSV)

• The 2015 season will either be one hell of a bumper year for baseball or the year Earth experiences a serious rift between conflicting realities. When Marty McFly finds himself three decades removed from his native 1980s, the most stunning bit of evidence that he ain’t in his temperospatial Kansas anymore is the televisual news that the 2015 Chicago Cubs will have broken the club’s 107-year drought over “Miami,” insinuating perhaps yet another World Series appearance by the Marlins.

(Also note that either the Marlins or the Cubs will have moved to the American League by 2015 – obviously some half-baked idea from the “mind” of Bud Selig acted upon before his retirement as MLB Commissioner.)

However, by 2024, baseball fans will be typically putting the 2015 London Kings – in the legendary Buck Bokai’s rookie year, mind you – in discussions of the all-time greats. The information here comes to BuckBokai.com via timestream recorded during the Bell Riots in San Francisco, so two theories to explain the discrepancy are:

— the 2015 London Kings *will be* one of the great regular-season teams and will be upset in the playoffs a la the 2001 Seattle Mariners (this also would require the fans of 2024 to be more open-minded about non-championship winning teams), or

— the overheard conversation upon which this stipulation is based will be incorrect. After all, the debate in which Commander Benjamin Sisko will participate centers on a comparison of the 1999 New York Yankees and the ’15 Kings. Even though the ’99 Yankees also won the ‘Series, the *1998* Yanks were the ‘Bombers who went 114-48 and steamrolled through the playoffs: That’s a squad that deserves to be in the “All-Time Great Baseball Teams” discussion.

Will Sisko and his fellow conversants also be wrong about the Kings? Maybe it’ll be the 2014 London Kings that are destined for greatness…? On the other hand, we know that Buck Bokai will debut in the MLB in 2015 … see what BuckBokai means? There’s confusion all over year 2015. (Back to the Future II, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

• The 2032 New York Yankees will overcome the heavily-favored London Kings in the World Series, four games to two. Six years off besting Joe DiMaggio’s “unbreakable” 56-game winning steak, Bokai’ll draw even more comparison to Joltin’ Joe when he bests a record to that point held by DiMaggio for at-bats in a single game. Not taking a walk the entire game, Bokai will record eight at-bats in a thrilling game five of the 2032 World Series.

Despite the fact that Bokai dominates the ‘Series and saves the Kings from extinction nearly single-handedly in game five, the ’32 Yankees will just bring too much in the anniversary of the “Called Shot.” (ST:DS9)

• In the final season for Buck Bokai (and Major League Baseball), the 2042 London Kings will become known as the last great baseball team, perhaps even before Bokai’s walk-off home run clears the ballpark. (ST:DS9)

• Despite seriously waning interest in America, advanced technology finally makes baseball’s highest league truly global. Humiliatingly for those Americans who still love their former national pastime, the greatest team in 2084 is the Tokyo Samurai, who will smoke the Toronto Blue Jays in five (truly) World Series games. (Total Recall)

The 2271 Pike City Pioneers. At some point in the 21st century, baseball dies off altogether in the general public consciousness except on a few playgrounds in random areas on Earth. Until, that is, for some unknown reason, the descendants of settlers on Cestus III form a full-on professional league on the planet – albeit co-ed.

Although the Pioneers might make this list simply by dint of being the *only* world champion in the galaxy, Pike City will play with a verve and élan of the 19th-century sort in the inaugural season of the Cestus Baseball League and beyond. Plus, they make history by becoming the first team to win a championship with a steal of home plate, by Illyana Petrova. (ST:DS9, Star Trek novels)

The 2927 New York Yankees. Okay, so actually they play blernsball, the descendant of baseball designed for a society bored with stuff like mom and apple pie. But these guys probably could kill at baseball if they wanted to. See their heads lovingly captured in embalming fluid in the Blernsball Hall of Fame, right near Mark McGwire’s preserved bicep. In about 960 years. (Futurama)

  1. Asdf Jieieie says:

    Keep posting stuff like this i really like it

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. What If Baseball: 1961 New York Yankees vs. 1978 Boston Red Sox | Buck Bokai - [...] While Boston won 99 games that year, they were beaten by mighty Bucky Dent’s home run in an extra…
  2. Arena Football’s Future: Would you like to know more? | Buck Bokai - [...] though BuckBokai still isn’t sure about the seemingly inevitability of high-level coed sports, Illyana Petrovna or no, another scene…
  3. Pirates’ 1960 win: A science-fictional notion | Buck Bokai - [...] course, as BuckBokai knows from the All-Time Great Future Baseball Teams list, the use of freaky clubs winning the…
  4. Rangers vs. Giants World Series: The future is here | Buck Bokai - [...] Congratulations to both the Giants and Rangers for ascending to the big stage in 2010. All BuckBokai wants to…

Leave a Reply