Posted by Os Davis in all, baseball, films, video | 0 Comments
Revisiting Cueto vs. Quato
About two years ago, one Mike Bock over at a site called Fantasy Hurler wrote a brilliant BuckBokai-esque piece entitled “Playometer: Cueto v. Quato” comparing the excellent Cincinnati Reds pitcher Johnny Cueto to the mysterious rebel leader of Total Recall.
Handsome devil, isn't he?
Now that a couple years have passed, Cueto is established in the big leagues and cinematic sci-fi is experiencing a rebooting/reusing of old ideas so widespread it makes the NFL’s Wildcat copycats look like Picasso-level original thinkers, BuckBokai reckons it’s time to take a look at the Cueto vs. Quato battle of awesomeness.
Back in ’08, Bock commented that “I think Cueto will not live up to his first few starts. As players get used to his weaponry, and as he begins pressing to avoid flyballs in Cincy’s amusement park stadium, you’ll see him become more human.” But hey, believe it or not, check out these stat lines:
2008: 9-14 W/L record; 4.81 ERA; 174 IP; 158 Ks vs. 68 BBs; 1.414 WHIP; 29 HRs allowed
2009: 11-11 W/L; 4.41 ERA; 171.1 IP; 132 Ks vs. 61 BBs; 1.360 WHIP; 24 HRs allowed
2010: 9-2 W/L; 3.39 ERA; 116.2 IP; 83 Ks vs. 40 BBs; 1.268 WHIP; 9 HRs allowed
2010 (projected): 14-4 W/L; 3.39 ERA; 187 IP; 133 Ks vs. 64 BBs; 1.286 WHIP; 14 HRs allowed
While Cueto’s production and control have stayed remarkably consistent, the one area in which Johnny has shown amazing improvement is in gopher balls. Cueto is learning how to keep balls in the park and has managed to save a full run off the ERA this season as a result.
What’s happened to Quato in the meantime? Well, like everything else, Hollywood decided that Arnold’s second-best flick clearly needed a redo and things seemed to be moving along for a while: In 2009, Kurt Wimmer (The Thomas Crown Affair, Salt) was even tapped as screenwriter and he’s still got the “Total Recall (2011)” credit under his name at IMDB.com.
Further awfulness surrounding the prospective remake comes from the studio. At last telling, studio heads were projecting the new flick as a “contemporized adaptation.” Huh? I thought Total Recall was set in 2084: How does one contemporize the future? Presumably they mean that the new Total Recall will indeed be darker in lighting and mood and far more humorless than almost anything the Governator ever made in his silver screen days.
On the other hand, things for poor old Quato could be worse: We could be subjected to this.
In the final analysis, then, round two is also going to go to Cueto – and for one further reason than Bock listed: The name, man.
Johnny Cueto? Sweet name. Baseball name.
Quato? Ronny Cox can barely say it with a straight face.
Perhaps the two could be combined, actually. Throw a little prosthetic action (no, wait! CGI!) onto Cueto and *he* could be the mutant leader. Yeah, smoke the government inside, Johnny!
No Comments
Trackbacks/Pingbacks