Posted by Os Davis in Doctor Who, TV programs | 0 Comments
BuckBokai’s fearless prediction for Doctor Who
This has fuck-all to do with sports, but with a Matt Smith (and Katy Manning!) appearance on the “Sarah Jane Adventures” just weeks away and the first glimpse of the Christmas special has been released by the BBC – lemme tell ya, it totally puts the “tease” in “teaser” – BuckBokai figures he’d better get in this prediction before it becomes old hat.
Thanks to a few hints and “spoilers” blended with gobs of speculation, talk of River Song’s involvement in the next series is rampant. The facts are these:
— River has a strange relationship (possibly romantic) with the Doctor.
— River has stated that she killed “the best man she’s ever known.”
— River has stated that the next time they meet, “Everything changes.”
The conclusion? River Song kills the Doctor’s companion, Mr. Amy Pond himself, Rory.
How does one reach this conclusion? It mostly hinges on the “best man” thing. Look, BuckBokai loves the Doctor, you love the Doctor, everyone on this side of Davros’ sanity loves the Doctor – but he ain’t perfect. BuckBokai would even have difficulty classifying him as “moral” or “ethical” or even “good” much of the time; how many individuals has he killed? How many times has he committed genocide?
(BuckBokai counts two, plus an attempted third: the Time Lords and the Vervoids; the Daleks would surely have been destroyed by The Oncoming Storm, too, if not for their cockroach-like resilience. And we’re not even including all those occasions wherein the Last Time Lord wiped out a species’ sole survivor, from Sutekh and the Jagaroth on down the food chain.)
Hell, children of the 80s like BuckBokai recall fondly Harlan Ellison’s rant serving as prologue in the dozen or so Doctor Who books put out by Pinnacle Publishers back in the day; the Doctor’s basic decency and not mamby-pamby goodness is what makes him great:
“Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains into puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I’ll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!
“…the bemusing and bewildering Doctor Who, the humanistic defender of Good and Truth, whose exploits put to shame those of Kimball Kinnison, Captain Future and pantywaist nerds like Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.
“My hero! Doctor Who!”
If River Song is truly a future lover of The Doctor, then surely she knows his moral foibles; she may even dislike aspects of him (i.e. the way he pilots the TARDIS with the parking brake on). “The best man I’ve ever known”? Hardly. The coolest, most interesting, weirdest, kookiest man, OK, but best?
Now Rory, on the other hand … this is the “Man Who Waited 2,000 Years,” right? The man who gave up 30 or so lifetimes consecutively to a self-imposed sentence of existing nearby a great bloody prison block – for a woman who rather jump a goofy bowtie wearing dude the moment Rory’s out of the picture.
That’s the best man River Song has ever known. And that’s who she’s going to kill.
And *then* everything changes.
You heard it here first.