Posted by Os Davis in films, Review, superheroes | 0 Comments
Batman given Cardboard Gerald treatment in Dark Knight Rises review
Ben Swanson: Greatest Twitter-side movie reviewer ever? After busting up with 141-character bon mots from Cardboard Gerald, the “resident [Charlotte] Bobcats sadsack blogger” and “progeny of Shawn Kemp’s Lister Blister, on “The Dark Knight Rises” all morning, BuckBokai figured he’d repost ‘em all here for posterity. One caveat: Swanson has seen things we people wouldn’t dream – this one’s quite a departure from the franchise, it seems…
Spoilers follow … yeah, surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre.
• The Dark Knight Rises review: too much darkness, not enough rising.
• Definitely one part of the movie stood above the rest. Hines Ward couldn’t have been more perfectly cast!
• The Batmoped totally blew my mind! It had turn signals!
• fun fact: Bane was originally to go to a Gotham Knicks game instead of a NFL game, but knew the mayor wouldn’t want to see that train wreck
• The ending totally blew me away when they reveal Batman is actually Drew Gooden
• I didn’t like the part when all the policemen broke into Jason Bateman’s house because they misread his last name.
• And they never even investigated who the Bartman was. Thorough investigation my ass.
• I really hated the part where Bruce Wayne spent hours scheming high school kids into making memes and starting his own meme website.
Bronson: 2013 Academy Awards nominee?
• It’s hilarious some people have muted me for fear of spoilers.
• SPOILER: Alfred running Bruce Wayne’s Twitter account was a terrible idea.
• But I’m really disillusioned with the writers after seeing them reveal Batman wires Creed’s greatest hits CD into his mask at all times.
• Also, why did Batman drive a Toyota Tercel to chase everyone through the city?
• I was definitely not expecting Bane to be a Joanna Newsom fan. That was pretty neat. In hindsight, a little too obvious.
• Also, why did Batman drive a Toyota Tercel to chase everyone through the city?
• Sometimes it felt like the product placement was a tad much though. I mean, every scene was in a McDonalds. That was weird.
• it was completely bananas when Bruce Wayne said, “Sometimes it feels like we’re being watched!” and then he grinned and turned to the camera
• The final match scene was fantastic. Bane’s post game was powerful, but Batman’s crossover and advantage in athleticism was just too much
• SPOILER ALERT: AP Style actually dictates Batman be spelled “Bat-man”
• By the way, be sure to stay after the credits. Those are actually just for first intermission. The movie is really 18 hours long.
The reply:
Yeah, surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre.