Posted by Os Davis in baseball, fantasy sports, films | 0 Comments
Sports Guy on boring stuff, Unbreakable 2
Bill Simmons, a.k.a. The Sports Guy over at ESPN.com, has outdone BuckBokai – imagine that – and in his latest LOL-packed mailbag column, Simmons riffs on “Seven Topics You Should Never Discuss.” The ‘Guy brings some salient points to the discussion about the undiscussable; unfortunately, his list is rather bereft of science-fiction references.
You should never discuss, proclaimeth the Simmons:
1. Your fantasy team or fantasy draft.
2. A bad poker beat. [BuckBokai can’t believe this didn’t make my list.]
3. A stock you sold too early.
4. Anything that happened at work that doesn’t involve an altercation, sex or porn being found on someone’s computer.
5. Anything about the wedding you’re planning.
6. Anything that happened at your child’s sporting event if your child is under 15 years old, unless it involves two parents fighting or something truly incredible that happened.
7. Anything that happened during an exam you took with one exception… [and BuckBokai’ll leave you to read the rest on ESPN.com there; we’re not stealing anyone’s thunder here as though that were possible…]
Unbreakable 2: A Dave Stapleton production
Simmons, with the help of reader Greg from Oakland also discovers a nice analogy for the career of M. Night Shyamalan: the career of Dave “Good Night” Stapleton:
Q: In one of your podcasts you tried to find the sports analogy to M. Night Shyamalan’s career: spectacular promise, good first impression, then fell off the table. You settled on Penny Hardaway. But what about Dave Stapleton, erstwhile Red Sox first baseman? Comparing a graph of his batting average over seven major league seasons to the Rotten Tomatoes scores of Shyamalan’s seven movies is eerier than the ending to “The Village.” – Greg, Oakland
SG: He’s right. Check this out:
M. Night Shyamalan baseball card
Shyamalan
Sixth Sense: 85%
Unbreakable: 68%
Signs: 74%
The Village: 42%
Lady In The Water: 24%
The Happening: 18%
The Last Airbender: 6%
Dave Stapleton
1980: .321
1981: .285
1982: .264
1983: .247
1984: .231
1985: .227
1986: .128
And what happened to Stapleton in 1987, some may ask with an eye toward the night Shyamalan production, evermore seemingly “Unbreakable 2,” here’s what Wikipedia tells us:
After the 1986 season, Stapleton became a free agent and signed with the Seattle Mariners, but was released on March 31, 1987 prior to the start of the regular season.
(Shudder.)
